Realistic Resolutions

I think many of us can agree that 2016 was a brutal year. With this in mind, and with a positive attitude towards 2017, my good pal/creative partner Lindsey Tweed and I put together a collection of Re…

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How Doctors Work

My experience with doctors typically goes a little something like this: Discover an issue somewhere in or on my human body for which a doctor’s expertise may be necessary. Convince myself it is nothin…

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Make Your Garage Great Again

So, I want to tell you a story. And this happened to me just yesterday. I was driving through Philadelphia — beautiful city, really top notch — and this guy pulls up next to me. People sto…

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The First Date

Over the last week and some change, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know a young lady the old-fashioned way: through small bubbles of text on a 5.44 x 2.64 inch screen. Her transmissions have rema…

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Man Seeking Home

My name’s Ryan, and I’m a 29-year-old human who recently traded coasts. Philly is home base for me, and yeah, I’m destroying a cheesesteak in that photo. But I’ve also backpack…

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Honest Cigarette Advertising

Enjoy a smooth cigarette tonight. No hangover tomorrow — just imminent death! For a smooth, menthol taste, choose Newport. Great for the heart! Even Lebron James smokes Camels! I tell my 9-year-old so…

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One Month

Well, it’s been one month in this motherfucking freakshow. San Francisco, that is. Not San Fran — that is not the preferred nomenclature, friends from that faraway coast and elsewhere. Just a friendly…

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Beer Talk

(I originally came up with the concept for "Beer Talk" while working on a pitch for Yuengling Lager. I wrote a series of scripts featuring Chip and Don which, sadly, never saw the light of day. I stil…

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